slasher_chick (slasher_chick) wrote in livequotes,

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"Energizing bathroom? Yes! I will shower with vigor!" - Thomas W

"Is it like, a cross between a Furby and a monkey?" - Boy

"Is this what I look like without skin?" - Same Boy

"Yeah, he died of Spanish Influenza. In my pants." - bextcoll

"Oh, goddammit Beatles, why are you dead and why are you not writing songs about me?" - Claudia

"Are you trying to boost our spirits or make us hibernate?" - Claudia

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stick a needle in your face and inject you with pus." - Tommy

"That makes me want to knit scarves. And by knit, I mean punch. And by scarves, I mean babies." - Tyler T

"Flowers came out of my dick!" - Idiotic Freshman

"If I work hard enough, I'll either get over it or I'll die." - bextcoll

"She slung that. Like a dead baby." - bextcoll

"Every once in a while you have an off night. And by 'off night', I mean five people devoted to you dying while you're playing with a ball." - bextcoll

"What's invisible and rapes at the same time? And the answer is not Harry Potter. It might be Ron Weasley, though." - bextcoll

"Well, you're married to a rat." - Joey
"You're married to a rat." - Nathaniel
"No, I'm engaged." - Joey

"*as Batman* I ate all the gravel in my driveway for breakfast. Do not try to defeat me." - Claudia

"Morgan Freeman is amazing, though." - Shannon
"I want to touch him." - Claudia

"I have a strange obsession with buttholes." - Claudia

"Give it back, you black and half-white child." - Claudia

"Oh my God! I have a black bogey on me!" - Claudia

"It' not funny." - Matt
"Then why are you smiling?" - Claudia
"To keep from laughing." - Matt

"I don't want to be a faggoter." - Claudia

"If that did not reach you or touch you, either a: you weren't paying attention, or b: you have no soul." - Mr. Hein

"Do you have a coin?" - Tanner
"I have a leg." - TJ

"I think so, but I have no idea what he's doing, unless he's beating random, unsuspecting people with his golf club." - Sabrina

"Can I go to the bathroom? It's an emergency." - Girl
"You know what's an emergency? Getting shot in the stomach." - Mr. Madding

"Use your skeletal system; that's why God gave it to you." - Mr. Hein

"Be manly men. Don't give me fairies; give me strength." - Mr. Hein

"I can see the hair growing on your chests. They're almost as hairy as the altos'." - Mr. Hein

"We played Cinderella for a while, but then I told her to put her pants on and that put an end to that." - bextcoll

"Forking: Kind of like spooning, but pointier." - bextcoll

"If your long-term memory was this roll of toilet paper, how big would it be?" - Mr. Watson
"Industrial size! Like, Sam's warehouse." - Thomas W

"That's what this kid was wearing the other day. Actually, it was last year." - Mr. Watson

"This is kind of a formula you can use. Except it isn't a formula, because I just made it up ten minutes ago." - Mr. Madding

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the crazy train!" - Mr. Madding

"Okay, let me answer that question in a minute. Because you hurt my heart." - Mr. Madding
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